Daughter's Elegy

Dear Parents,

I write to you hoping that we can enjoy each other’s company more than we do now.

I understand that you want the best for me. I always try to keep that in mind whenever I have inklings of rebelliousness. Although you never admit how lucky you are that I am not an addict, a drunk, a dropout, a young mother, a gambler, a smoker in no particular order; but please realize that I have made your lives easier by not being any of the above. And that I always choose to be beside you even when I feel so very achingly lonely right by your side. How lonely it feels, no warmth and love from the only persons I have been vulnerable to all my life. I will never regret choosing you over friends, over an alternate future, over torrid love affairs, over freedom, over a simpler life. I chose a bigger dream, the one that you want and built for me. Maybe because I don't know what I want years from now. Or maybe because I still don't have a bigger dream of my own. It is a lonely path I walk but I am here because I still think you need me to be there. And I want to be there because each day that passes by is a day closer to a darker world where you are not. A place I am afraid that is a much colder, lonelier place. I have never asked in my entire life for you to baby me. In your own way I know you do, in things that matter most. I grew up righteous, smart, intelligent and loyal because those are things I saw growing up in our house. I have my inadequacies and I know them much more than you do. Believe me. I know I will never be like you, I am my own person and I wish you’d remember that I am also your daughter. I don’t want to walk away, being here is proof that I am not one to give up so easily. But please, remember, I am still your daughter. 

And I want to feel like a daughter again.

"I fall off a cliff to a bed laiden with my shattered and battered heart."

エックサメン

今日は久しぶりにアテネオ大学、私の母校、に行きました。

懐かしいところがあふれたが、それより帰ってきた気持ちが強く感じました。

心が静かに、さわやかに、穏やかに。

今日はそこらにイヴェントが開かれました。

アテネオ大学のヘッド、ジェット・ビリャリン神父が黙想会を主宰しました。

その話題は良心の検討、EXAMEN、でした。

ジェット神父は自分の経験から話していただき、いろいろと考えさせられました。

まずひとつ、上に立つのがつらいところがあり、特に天辺に立つ人です。

間違っているところを明らかにするのもその一部です。

それを聞いたときに、私は一人じゃなかったと思いました。

嫌われたくないのに、責任はあります、感じています。抜けられない真実です。

それに答えなければなりません。一人ではありません。

二つ目は、お許しは自分向けにもあります。

EXAMENのときにお許しがあります。

普通のカトリック教の考えでは、神様にお許しを求めます。

でも教は自分もお許しを与えなければなりませんと教えていただきました。

自分を責めるだけでは負担が重くなるだけです。

でしたら自分も自分からお許しを求めています。

三つ目はTHIS IS WATERの動画から自分のことを知ることと環境を気づくことを憶えました。

それは自覚することにはパターンが見やすくなります。

ConscienceはConsciousnessとは違います。

Self-awareはSelf-absorbとは違います。

自分のことを自ら本当に、本当に知ってしまいます。

(This is Water by David Foster Wallace from Youtube.com. No copyright infringement intended)

いかにもこの3つは私に響いたところでした。

EXAMENにはいろいろと段階ありますから、ほかの人は別の回想、感想があったと思います。

何にもEXAMENが使えます。

これからEXAMENがよく使いたいと思います。

自分を、私に存在している神を、みんなに存在している神を知りたいです。

東京オリンピック・パラリンピック２０２０へ

今日日本首都の東京都が2020年のオリンピック・パラリンピックがホストシーティーに選ばれました。

(イメージはTOKYO2020のFacebookページからです。）

数時間前からお父さんがどうしてももう一度日本のオリンピックみたいなっと言っていました。

1964年のTOKYOオリンピクを見ましたから、二度目は人生のひとつの生きがいとなっていたそうです。

日本は大きく変わるよとお父さんが長いスピーチに入りました。

私は子供のときからお父さんのそばでいくつかのオリンピックをテレビで見てきましたので、TOKYO2020のオリンピクに向かってお父さんと家族の皆さんと名まで見れるようにがんばりたいと思います。

やはいお父さんがうれしくて、私もうれしくなっていました。

TOKYO２０２０へ！ファイト！

Wrong Foundation Gone Perfect

Matching foundation to skin tone is a tough business. After a few years of putting on makeup everyday for work, I realized that the No Makeup Look is a terribly difficult thing to pull off. There is also which shade to choose given the limited variety available depending on the brand. Some brands have only 2 shades (I'm calling you out BB Cream!) and some brands have a dozen and more. I'm not an expert in foundations either so a lot of my foundations don't match perfectly. Close enough is my usual default. So how to remedy this...

I am a NC 30 / 35 right now, yes I'm quite tan at the moment. So when I visited Digital Traincase for the first time last week, I couldn't resist taking this home with me:

Vichy Dermablend in Sand from Digital Traincase at P1390.00

Although most people opt for the shade Nude, I opted for Sand because it hides eyebags and blemishes better when I tested both. I also have plans to go to the beach, the mountain and the pool. No chance of going back to a whiter shade in the next few months.

I roadtested it the following day and it really left my face quite tanned so I was punishing myself for not getting Nude. This is despite knowing that it's just a tad bit to white! And knowing that Vichy tends to leave the face very flat, two tubes would be too much and I'd still need to set it with powder. Too much hassle!

Luckily, I came across this blog two nights ago from RareVanity.net and it suggest a way to make a wrong foundation shade work. A heaven sent actually -

(Video from Gem's Youtube Page. No copyright infringement intended)

Coincidentally I bought Ben Nye Luxury Powder in Banana a few days ago.

Ben Nye Luxury Powder in Banana from Purebeauty Alabang for P499.00

(The lowest price I've found so far!)

So I put it to the test against two other powders to compare and Ben Nye really worked! SERIOUS! IT REALLY WORKED!!!The Ben Nye powder made the overly tan look of Vichy in Sand match my tone perfectly. Thank you Gem of RareVanity! The combination of the two is just perfect. I'm so glad that I came across the video. Had I not, I would've been kicking myself for not getting Nude and Sand together. Now, I'm super happy with these two.

All in all, although Vichy promises 16 hours, it held up great for the first 5 hours with no retouching. After 8 hours there is minimal need to retouch, my nose became slightly shiny only. A little blotting would be fine but it'd be better if there is a retouch layer of powder to look fresh. Ben Nye has this fabulous finish. I was staring at the mirror the entire morning because of how gorgeous and fine the powder looks on the skin. Makes me look forward to putting it on everyday.

Divine 指示

少し面白いものをINSTAGRAMフィードで呼んでいました。



Divine Leeはフィリピンで芸能人として活躍して、ゲイの友達から教わったことお書き出したLeeさんからのInstagramです。

１．美しい人は明るい人に負け
いつも一段と美人の人がいてもチャーミングな女性は必ず大賞を。必ず！

２．なるべくベストの自分にしなさい
もちろんほかの人のためではなく、自分のためですわ。いい調子ゲット！

３．彼氏より友達優先
友達に行くこと。なぜかというと、友達は必ずあなたの幸せを考えます。

４．ヒールスは武器よ
男と目線を合わせなければなりません。ぎりぎりなところになったら、彼に投げればいいでしょう。

５．自身は成功の鍵である
自分を信じなきゃ、どうやってほかの人に信じてくれるのだろう。どんなに複雑な男でもシャイやおびえることがあります。すこしスマイルするだけでは死にません。それに隠し撮りにかわいく。


全体的に笑わせる言い方を使われていますが、本音には間違えありません。Girl Powerですね。どんな女の人もわかる悩みです。この言葉に従って、もっといい毎日に向かいましょう。

Sale in the Manila "South"

Living in the south means being far away from Makati, Taguig and Ortigas and missing out on some bargains. Just the thought of going north can really weigh down any girl. Since the sale season doesn't seem to end, I wanted to share some nice sales I found while combing the few malls we have down here.

First up, REVLON KISSABLE BALM STAIN in HONEY
This baby keeps getting sold out but now its fully restocked at MOA and at an amazing 50% off. I got one as soon as I confirmed it really is 50% off for all colors. Yes it really is! Got it at PhP 287.50 from Watson's MOA.

(Photo courtesy of Revlon US Website. No copyright infringement intended)

Next, UNIQLO'S ZIP UP LONG PARKA

Many late nights and awkward outfits have been saved by my trusty parka windbreaker, one I bought from Japan and another gifted by my friend. It is quite useful to have in the car as a reserve jacket since the fabric does not fade with heat and it protects what ever is underneath it. I've used this to cover up my pambahay in case I had to go to the convenience or drug store at wee hours, or even during short trips to the supermarket. So how is this different from other windbreakers? The length. It's coat length and coat styled. It's quite flattering for any shape and size! Perfect!!! This is on introductory sale at MOA for PhP1490 (Original price is Php 1990.00)

(Photo courtesy of Uniqlo Philippines Facebook Page. No copyright infringement intended)

Going down much South is: ATC's newly opened PUREBEAUTY ATC

My first purchase to celebrate its soft opening is Ben Nye's Luxury Powder in Banana. They have the lowest price for this product, getting mine at PhP 499.00 for the 1.5 oz! It's still cheaper here than when other beauty stores go on sale. Beat that other beauty stores. Just in case, they are located near Marks & Spencer and Beauty Bar.

(Photo courtesy of ATC Facebook Page. No copyright infringement intended)

Since I'm on the subject of ATC, it's raining red for their Paint the Town Red Sale this weekend (August 9-11, 2013) and next weekend (August 15 to 18, 2013):

(Photo courtesy of ATC Facebook Page. No copyright infringement intended)

Consequently, Rnner is also having their much awaited sale at their ATC branch as well:

They have 0% interest for purchases of PhP 5,000.00 and above. I'm after those new Adidas running shoes, but I'll be saving that for another rainy day since those weren't on sale. In the meantime, try to get a Thermal Foot Analysis and GAIT Analysis there. My analysis went:

Neutral-Neutral-Neutral
This means I have neutral left and right feet, and neutral gait when running. I looked at their selection of WOMEN-NEUTRAL shoes and there are some pretty good deals! Too bad some of them have broken sizes already, especially the Brooks shoes.

It's not very crowded and the staff at Rnner ATC are quite patient and friendly! A PBA coach even happened to drop by the store when my friend and I went visiting. (Photo courtesy of Runnr Facebook Page. No copyright infringement intended)

Haul Picture: COLUMBIA LIQUIFLY

This is my new love, my grey orange pinkpurple trekking shoes. It's Techlight and Omni-grip meaning it's quite light on the feet but has good grip. My tiebreaker with the Adidas shoes from Runnr was that the Columbia shoes may be submerged in water! How awesome is that? I've been breaking it in and I am quite happy, especially since they've been marked down from PhP5,690.00 to PhP3,970.00 and at 6 months 0% interest to boot. Trekking I am ready for you!!!

Last but not the least: Tea time sale with my favorite MARKS AND SPENCER CALMING INFUSION TEA BAGS

Don't mind the funny looking tea filter. Marks & Spencer's Detox Infusion used to be my go to tea when I couldn't choose from so many teabags tucked in my office locker. I bought the Calming Infusion tea just to try it out when Greenbelt's Marks & Spencer went on sale last July. I was hooked from the very first scent of opening the foil pack. I swear this is tea heaven, any person would be crazy not to love this. If tea didn't expire I'd hoard this. It's now on sale again in ATC at 20% off for PhP199.00 (down from P225.00)! (Left photo courtesy of Marks & Spencer Philippines Facebook Page. No copyright infringement intended)

So that's my quick pick of the sale from the south!

Understanding Shiseido

Shiseido in Japan is a mega corporation handling its own brands as well as foreign brands like Bare Escentuals and Nars Cosmetics (dosmestically in Japan). But whenever I try to look through the website, it's great big confusion of brands because it tries to handle so much in one website. So I am attempting to break down their skin care and makeup section using their foundations today.

Let me begin with the what's here brands:

Majomajo is the brand positioned mainly for teens to early twenties. My personal favorite is their Skin Remaker because of its fantastic coverage and flawless finish. Their eyeshadows have above average quality, I would recommend it if not for the overly sparkly effect and sheerness, like I said it's for teens. Their best product based on market perception is their mascara. It is a well known brand for affordable but dependable mascara. Generally, it's a great brand to introduce young girls into makeup.

This is a French word for Makeup. The Japanese have a penchant for naming brands in French. Maquillage is for young professional women. The presentation has soft colors and golds - all very feminine. Its philosophy is bringing or drawing out beauty from within, a natural kind of beauty. I've tried the powder foundation and it's like silk to the skin. Majomajo already has Skin Remaker but this takes it to a whole new level. The price range is between Majomajo and Shiseido Makeup but the quality is closer to the latter. Not all the products from this line are available here though. Some of the products are displayed at Shiseido boutique stores.

   
Shiseido boutique stores carry the makeup line from this brand - its namesake Shiseido. Their market is for the Refined Woman - it may be used by women from mid-twenties and above. It costs a pretty penny... well, several thousand pretty pennies then. But the flawlessness is impeccable. How flawless? Check this out from Ms Martha: Shiseido Makeup Technique

White Lucent is the extension of the whitening skin care line, which is also available here. It only has makeup base and powder foundation as makeup products.

Natural glow is an extension of Shiseido Makeup and has only two products, stick foundation and face powder.

Now for the nitty gritty part: What's not here?

Makeup Only Brands:



Selfit is Shiseido's least expensive brand. They have good SPF (20) and are either targeting pore coverage or

 Makeup brand that infuses a sense of fun with beauty of an adult woman.
 Makeup for the positive women at any age


Integrate is the mineral makeup line of Shiseido. Its quality is a notch higher than Majomajo but the price is definitely lower. It is no nonsense makeup line. Their endorser in Japan is Angelina Jolie! I personally their powder foundation because it has a lighter feel than Majomajo, mineral makeup is good for oily skin (which I have), and a little goes a long way.  The coverage is medium for the foundation. There's really no point to having a concealer! Integrate has the same target market as Maquillage.

Integrate Gracy is quite different from Integrate in its product lineup and is of lower quality and price. It is not a mineral makeup line. It is more of an Average Woman line so it's very basic makeup with basic color combinations for their palettes. Their base makeup is divided into for Whitening or for Moisture.

Skincare Extension Makeup Brands:

 Aqualabel is also another one of Shiseido's skin care extension brands, similar to d Program but much cheaper. It's target is twenties and above and it has 3 variants.

Blue is for Whitening. Uses m-Tranexamic acid.

Red is for Moisture. Uses Collagen GL.

Purple is for Aging. Gold is for Aging, premium line. Uses Royal Jelly GL and m-Tranexamic acid.

All three only have base makeup, powder and liquid foundation as its makeup products. For a better look at the Red and Blue line, check out Introduction Shiseido Aqualabel.

d Program is ultimately a skin care brand. The system starts with the cleansing routine under its Common line. The next step in the skin care branches out to the following:

Balance Care (Blue) - for combination dry and oily skin

Acne Care (Orange) - for acne-prevention

Aging Care (Purple) - for age-related dry skin with firming function

Moisture Care (Pink) - for generally dry skin

Special Care (Gray) - for intensive solutions based on skin problem

In September 2012, d Program branched out to medicinal makeup and now offers two makeup solutions.

Blue - Medicinal makeup line with smooth finish for skin inflammations and acne prone skin

Green -  Protect, Prepare, Preserve skin care brand for the unstable skin barrier defense


A high performance brand for no dullness, younger looking skin

Revital has an extensive skin care products line and a basic makeup products line. Really basic... base makeup, powder foundation, blush, brow liner and lipstick. Priced between Shiseido Makeup and &Face Art Method.

A suped high-end skin care and cosmetics line, by high-end I mean 50% more than the yen amount of Shiseido when it come to makeup. What Shiseido says, "Skin care carefully formulated with choice ingredients that give skin moisture and suppleness. Relaxes tight facial muscles for bright and fresh looking skin".  & Face Art Method offers basic makeup products with limited palettes and color combinations.

Brand for sunscreen, protecting screen from UV rays every day.

Anessa is most famous for its sunscreen, well almost all the products in this brand are sun screen. It's a little bit more expensive than Kao products so Kao gets the trophy for sun screen in Japan. If you're planning to go spend the day at the beach, this would be good makeup to use. It's water resistant and has really high SPF (SPF50)!

A medicinal skin whitening brand for preventing sun UV damage

While Anessa has sunscreen, UVWhite has an entire line of skincare especially formutaled for skin whitening. It also has base make makeup, liquid and powder foundations.



Don't just compensate. Aging System Development. Direct approach using an age-focused system.
  For women embarking on a positive live from now on. A skin care brand to beautifully pile on age.

Elixir is the umbrella brand with 3 brands separated to target specific skin age and problems. While their skin care lines are quite extensive, their makeup lines are not. This brand is designed to take care of the skin. Elixir is for dry skin, formulated especially for winter climate. It has makeup base, powder foundation, blush, eyebrow and lip liners. Elixir Superieur is focused on its aging care system. It has a pore cover and UV versions for its base makeup, liquid and powder foundation, and pressed powders. It's function is also for hydrating and moisturizing. Elixir Prior is for older women at age 60 and above. It has only a makeup base and powder foundation.

Elixir White is a skincare only line that focuses on whitening and prevention of fine lines and wrinkles.

Designed to be mild, no stress for sensitive skin

Evenese DR is simple skin care regimen for sensitive skin. It has only 1 foundation in 1 color, priced a little lower than Shiseido Makeup line.

(All images are from the Shiseido Japan website. No copyright infringement intended)


In the future, I would really love it Integrate got a little more publicity and distribution world wide. Mineral makeup is making its mark and Shiseido has a lot of catching up to do. Generally it's formulations target everything but very little when it comes to oily skin and hot humid weather like in the Philippines. Still, its principle is pretty obvious from the product lineup, Shiseido is a skin care company. Why need makeup when you have beautiful skin?

For more information on Shiseido Makeup, they have an English Asian site - Shiseido Singapore, and a Shiseido Philippines Facebook page as well.