A little like birthdays.

There was always this me who sat back and watched the world, not really waiting for love to happen; but it did. That ended.

And for a little more than four years I've been running.

There were times when it was really hard. But I never really did anything. I just stood watch.

I recently found out he was married, it was the first time in my life I understood why people go to drink when something bad happens.

It's not just because they want to, or they'd like to waste away the rest of their lives into the bliss of alcohol. Maybe there's something else.

Drinking with friends gives us the chance to create a rite of passage. It's the same reason why we hold birthdays, and anniversaries, and Christmas parties. We're people, we're accustomed to culture and ceremonies. We like our little rituals. It's our internal joys or in my case, torments, realized into action.

Now he's happy, and in another parallel universe I would have been invited to his wedding. I'd bet my life on it.

We feel, we put into reality, and then we move on.

happy birthday to me.

とらドラブルース

とらドラの北村君が大好き。何でか分からないけど、心がギュギューット！超タイプだからかな？あんなヒューモアが好みだからかな？どれにしても今まで見てきたキャラの中でベスト１・２・３かも！北村の成り行きは少し悔しかったり別方向に行ってもらいたかったが、それでも北村が好きだね。

土下座ならぬ「土下寝」の北村

サンタ姿の北村

キャラクタープロフィルはこちらです。

とらドラを見ようかなと思う人に、見てくださいと言いたいです。少しへヴィーかもしれないが、その分の面白さもあります。恋するはどんな感じと忘れた人、恋をあきらめた人、恋に夢中の人、見る価値があると思います。是非見てください。

Growing up all the same differently.

Sometimes, I ask myself in complete wonder, how late am I compared to the world.

People grow up together until college. It's the same classes, the same environment, the same leaders, the same food, the same teachers and the same lifestyle. There is a collective growing up in our own little worlds. All different, but all the same.

We start together but we finish differently.

And when we step out of school, our lives take different speeds. Some make smarter decisions. We exchanged stories over a casual cup of coffee and there it starts, where did I go differently?

A person my age should already be what exactly?

I plan my own way around the world based on what my friends have made of their lives. It's the most convenient way to plan a life. I make investments. I plan funds. I save and spend. We all do. But we all do it differently.

Everyone stopped growing up the same way after college. And it's scary to see myself pitted against my peers. I am both comfortable and secure that I'm not in the bottom percentile but it's a sad sad world to grow up alone in.

The sky is blue.

I remember moments in my life when all I can see is that one person and no one else.
And I've had four of those moments.

It started with that one afternoon just outside the library. The log-in sheet sat quietly in front of this boy, his hand on a pen, writing down his name. The hall was quiet with just the two of us. And as I stood beside him watching, he lifted his eyes to mine and that was the first moment.

A few years later, I grew up a little and joined volunteer organizations. It was in one of those orientations. The room was silent as the meeting progressed, student leaders stood one by one to introduce themselves. And then there he was, standing alone in a small sea of heads. He wasn't very tall and he wasn't the most handsome of men, but he had that fondness from my heart. And I never forgot my second moment.

A year passed by and I'm in another place full of people, and just as I stand in front of a crowd of student leaders, across the room there was this boy, in his work suit - quiet, smiling and it was as if everything nice in the world was following him. He was infectious. This was the third moment.

And two more years followed. It was a sunny morning and I had had my breakfast. I was in front of the bin when I heard footsteps going up to where I was. I turn around and there was this beautiful person in front of me. No smiles, no warmth, just that beauty. And it was enough to make my heart do flipflops. My knees buckled and my heart melted to the floor. My fourth moment.

Everytime I remember things like these, music plays in my head.
And I always think, so this is love at first sight.

私の日本での思い出のブログ誕生

http://www.alittlejapanese.webs.com
そろそろ紹介すべきだと思いますので、私が使ったブログはこのリンクでご覧ください！
コメントなどいりませんが、今度会うときブログの内容につきまして是非声をかけていただきたいです。

タイヤとエアー

今日は、私の馬鹿ですから、タイヤを道角にぶつかって、穴が開いてしまいました。そのわけで何年ぶりにうちの車のタイヤを入れ替えました。私でやりたかったが、邪魔にならないように見学だけをしてました。それで、こう思いました：私って弱いか、女性からか、繊細からかな。私は気を使われるほどの人ではありませんが、そうされると少しうれしいです。本当にうれしかったです。たまに人の気持ちとお心を受けると私がめちゃめちゃうれしくなるタイプです。普通私からきを使ったり、他人に優しく接触したりします。それで、こんなことが起こったりすると以外に深く思うですね。小さなことにこうパッと心が癒されます。幸せはほんのちょっとな行動にも見えます。

ついでに、初めて車のタイヤのエアーもサービスしてもらいました。本当は私がやるべきことですが、遠慮されて、やってもらったことになりました。少しエアーの入れ方の勉強にもなりましたよ。

それも恥ずかしかったが、うれしい気持ちも含めています。

i miss God.